(insert antijoke here

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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