Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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what the hell happened to your face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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GONNA

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops