I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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