How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

A baby seal walks into a club.

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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