What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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