Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Ted Haggard.

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Sarah Palin

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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