Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Justin Bieber.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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SNAPPLE!

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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