You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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