A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Fat people.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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