Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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Safe sex MR

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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black people

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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a woman votes!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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