Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats better than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"You two form fours while I get the other one"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a bar Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +21

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Answer The Following!! Q: How Do You Kill Bee?? Q: What Do You Call A Bee Who Live In America?? Q: Why Don't You Give Elsa A Balloon??

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops