Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops