Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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Why did the chicken cross the road It didint make it across

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

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What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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