whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops