What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

why did the black guy die? cancer

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

In soviet Russia...things are different

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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