What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Good afternoon.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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quantum physics?

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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