Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Boys have swag, real men have class

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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