knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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your mom is so fat.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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