Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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