Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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