How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

A bus crashes and everybody dies.

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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