How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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