What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +34

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

thumb_up thumb_down +34

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops