Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Girls Lacrosse.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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