Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops