What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops