A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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