What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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24

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops