One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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knock knock

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops