how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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