What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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