Neither did she.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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SBB

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops