Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops