So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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politically correct!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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