What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

meh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cheese stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops