I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

thumb_up thumb_down -4

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A French man gets into a fight

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Justin Bieber hits puberty

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I am a joke. I am funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops