How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

That's what she didn't say

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

falling didnt make the difference

what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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