What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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balls

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops