What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

women's rights

Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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