why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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