amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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Yeah right loser!

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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