whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Patriarchy.

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Bob dole

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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