i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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Republicans

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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