What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Wheelchair high jump

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Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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eloise dey.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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Soccer...

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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What is the worst part of a 4 blacks hanging from a tree? They were only children

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops