what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

a man walks into a bar he got hurt

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

whats 2+2? 4

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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