A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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69

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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Kelly Clarkson

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Shit!

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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feces

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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