An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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bob saget

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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