Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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I like hats XD!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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bum sex lol

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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