Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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what do u call a black man a black man

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Alex Eggbert

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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