What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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mark is mark

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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