When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I enjoy telling anticlimactic jokes Very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops